Things change …

If you’ve visited my Facebook page or the bookshop’s page you’ll already know (depending on whether FB allowed you to see the post) that “Inside Quote Marks” event in Sept was cancelled. It’s postponed not cancelled but Facebook doesn’t allow postponment without a definite date and we’re waiting to have the date we want confirmed. Suffice to say it’s NOT this year. We’re hoping for late January 2022.
Lots of reason came into play but the biggest was time, we simply ran out. So, Jan it is (fingers crossed). We want this to be the best event humanly possible and we need time … authors also need time to make sure they have stock. We have a website for the event: Inside Quote Marks. Such fun. If you’re an author wanting to be part of the event, get in touch.

My lovely writer pal, Robyn came into the bookshop the other day with an idea she couldn’t wait to tell me. Gotta say it’s a fabulicious idea, crimetastic even! We have to wait to talk it through with our other cohorts in crime, they won’t be back to writing group until the 11th! Meanwhile, Robyn was going to get started on a beat sheet. That sentence alone probably tells you something. (FYI not a beat sheet for a screenplay.)

Currently I’m reading a book that is annoying me. Why, you ask?
Because the “main character” is supposed to be 19 and comes across like a bratty 12 year old. She’s at University. She spends way too much time flouncing about and throwing tantrums, and behaving like a complete brat. I’ve never met a 19 year old who is that bloody childish especially one at Uni. Anyway, it’s book 2 of – I don’t know how many. I won’t be reading any others in this series. I struggled through the first book – but it was the first, so I cut the author some slack DESPITE HER HAVING A CHARACTER SWITCH THE SAFETY OFF ON A FUCKING GLOCK 17. Now, you ALL know how much shit like that pisses me off.
It’s not even difficult to find out if a Glock 17 has external safety. People, IT DOES NOT.
Anyway – every “adult” character in these books have speech that is peppered with sayins. They can’t open their mouths without dribbling out some saying or other.
For example, “Your dad has more money than hair on a sea otter’s ass.” – Fine, leave it, we get the picture … but no, she explains it. And in the next breath likens the father’s wealth to Crassus. Pick one, just one.

From one page on my kindle:
… dumped her own baby like bad baggage.
The woman disappeared faster than a bag of Funyans in the hands of my sister-in-law.
This old dog is not so good at learning new tricks.
… private investigator versus homicide is as different as two sides of the same coin.

There is a lot of adjective activity. No one ever just says anything. It’s deceptively sweet, sarcastic, doleful, dry, winced, slow, and they seem to swallow a lot of food that tastes like sawdust while their eyesbrows shoot up in surprise. (I’d be more disappointed than surprised but whatever.)
There is a lot of ‘fury’ which makes zero sense in context, the same with the many instants of ‘vague depression’, and ‘mock agreement’. There’s a fair bit of ‘scathing intelligence’ too.
I have a feeling the author used a lexicon of some description. (My writing group know exactly what I’m talking about there.)
But, “climbing on top of a woman who is nuttier than a squirrel turd” did make me laugh. 🙂

Go easy on the adjective use and don’t make every character sound like they’ve emerged from a swamp.
FYI: 12 year olds and 19 year olds are quite different beasts.

Right, I’ve got blueberry muffins to make for a meeting later today where we’re discussing something creative that may well require another beat sheet!

4 thoughts on “Things change …

  1. I’m actually making mental notes here on the things that may irk a reader so that I don’t recreate them in my own novels. Sometimes the not-so-good books do teach us a lot too, yeah? Anyway, thanks for this post!

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